The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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