goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
