will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
