Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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