Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
