I am puke
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
