he shaved USA in his pubs
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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