New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
