Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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