He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
