It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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