I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Are we still banned from the library?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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