Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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