im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
