WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm both gender and math confused
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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