I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
