How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
