He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
