remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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