Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
