come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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