If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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