I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
