i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
