At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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