Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
