Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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