I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
