By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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