Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
