guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
