so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
