He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
