coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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