This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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