Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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