You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
