I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
