Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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