Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
