Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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