i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You were trust falling into bushes
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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