At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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