I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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