it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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