Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
