What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
