Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you never un-have a 4some
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
