rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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