There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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