I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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