thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
